A literary village

Years ago I borrowed a book from an English friend about the developments around the deployment of a public urinal in a small village in the Beaujolais.

Clochemerle

The book was called "Clochemerle", written by Gabriel Chevallier. After having lived in France for a while, I noticed that, no matter how farcical the story seemed, it was an interesting satire on the division that divides France, still, when it comes to the separation of Church and State. One can sense that in "real" politics, but it is very obvious at a local level.
In a nutshell : the Mayor of Clochemerle wants to make a point, and decides to have a public urinal erected, near the church and the girls' school. Being a cunning village politician, he ensures himself of the loyal support of the local "intellectual", the village teacher. The latter is obsessed by fear of intervention from the "conservatives", i.e. clergy (the parish priest) and nobility (the baroness).

Het urinoir

A pious old maid, who is watching this cesspool of vice day in day out from her window, mobilises the conservatives to halt this humiliating performance. The book has a few more story lines, but this is in essence what the book is all about. It is written in a style not dissimilar to that of P.G. Wodehouse.
Not so long ago I learned that there was a village in the Beaujolais which had been used as the model for Clochemerle, as regards to plan, location and inhabitants, sometimes even with their real names. A couple of days ago we visited, for that reason only, the village of Vaux-en-Beaujolais alias Clochemerle. Of course there is a Chevallier Museum, but on top of that, the village square boasts a urinal, especially erected for the purpose. Besides, another building facing the square, has been adorned with a trompe l'oeil with scenes from the book, a mural which cleverly uses light in shadow to suggest reality. The shadow of the man hanging from a rope from a balcony makes this clear.

Trompe l'oeil

I am not so familiar with English book characters, but certainly the Dutch are lacking in fantasy on this front. Most nationwide well known characters from books or novels come from real places like Rotterdam or Amsterdam, very often with real street names as well. Maybe the Dutch are just too dull to come up with a fictitious village or town....

Anyway, those who are interested in the original French version or a Dutch or German translation of "Clochemerle", these are available at La Tuilerie de Chazelle.

A lunch for 3500 people

That they think big in Burgundy may be deduced from the following.

Ready, steady, go!

Friends of ours had asked whether we cared to joint them for a balade gourmande, freely translated an appetite whetting walk. I had no idea what to expect, but what the heck, why not? The Foyer Rural (village club) of their village organises every year an outing by bus to Ladoix, where this event takes place on a yearly basis. Reservations have to be made in February, because there are limited tickets available, and in March it is normally sold out. So we decided to enforce the ranks of the villagers of Saint-Ythaire, of whom we know quite a few by now.

First stop : the starter

Ladoix appears to be a village near Beaune, which produces a number of prestigious wines.
Every group who registers, get a time slot allocated. At arrival, the whole village was swarming with walkers, not really amazing when one knows that there are normally between 3 and 4 thousand participants. Everybody was provided with a straw hat, a little bag to be carried around the neck, a glass of kir and a few snacks, and after the glass had been downed it was safely stored in the small bag and off the group went, to the starter.

Enjoying the view whilst eating

The walk is about 5 km long, and passes along a number of massive places to eat, where respectively a starter, a fish course, a meat course (boeuf bourgignon), a cheese platter, a dessert and a cup of coffee is served. And of course every dish is amply sprinkled with various local wines.

To summarize this day: A lovely hot summer's day, a light refreshing breeze, lovely surroundings, an excellent meal, a bit of physical exercise, quality wines, good company.... In a word, what more does one want?

Quite handy, this stylish whine tray!

To learn about our corner of Burgundy, click here.

Q&A

Q

Why would one not, when addressing someone else orally or in writing, restrict oneself to the absolute minimum?
I would not go as far as speaking and writing in SMS (texting) format, but superfluous phrases like "Dear Sir", a rather tiring body of the message and closing off with unnecessary words like "Best regards" or trivial things like that, are totally unneccessary.
No, we have to go back to the essence of the language. Down with all polite phrases! What we need is something like a haiku, but without this rather boring restriction of the number of syllables!
Recently we received the following email:
"Hello,
Do you have any camp sites available August 8, 9, 10?
Thanks,
Nancy"

A

Most people would elaborate bit, giving at least a name and address, with how many people and tents they want to come, etc., but lo and behold, we are now living in the fast lane.
Some people pick up new tricks really easily. This is the avant-garde haiku Sue wrote as a reply:
"Hi
Full
Rgds
Sue"
Afterwards she only regreted using "Rgds"....

This proves by the way, that when you approach "La Tuilerie de Chazelle" you will receive an answer, no matter how concise!

Dial 999 ....

Is there a problem?

Our power supply is overhead. Along the road and in the fields one can see a number of wooden and concrete poles, holding up the electricity cables leading to our house, the last one in the network. As a little bonus the telephone cable is attached to the same poles. Of course concrete, let alone wooden poles do not have an eternal lifespan, even though our poles looked pretty sturdy and strong. However, the authorities decided we were in for a replacement of our derelict poles. Beginning of the year the new poles were erected and the cables were moved from the old to the new supports. As far as electricity goes, that is. The telephone cable had to be moved by France Telecom, at their own discretion.
One Sunday night we had unplugged our internet box because of a heavy thunderstorm, and when we plugged everything back in at around 23h00 the box seemed as dead as a doornail. Consequence of this is that the phone we use for (free) outgoing calls also had stopped working. Since this not unusual, we waited till the next day, plugged the box a number of times in and out, and finally phoned our internet provider Free. At first they suggested what we had already done a dozen times, and in the end agreed that our problem had to be logged with France Telecom.

Ready to roll!

We would receive an e-mail informing us of the status .... but we could not approach our e-mail. We could check the status on the internet ..... but we could not get onto the internet. Having patience seemed to be the only remedy. On Monday we saw a bunch of workmen fiddling around with the telephone cable. No, they did not come to repair something, that was certainly not on their order form. They came to move the cable. Tuesday we saw different men playing around with the cable. The same question resulted in the same answer. At least towards the evening our France Telecom line worked again, the one we normally only use for incoming calls. At least we could phone out, although not free of charge.

Why not tie them with a knot!

Wednesday we resorted to our portable PC and to Wi-Fi, so at least that way we could check our mail. That day we managed to secure a booking for a gîte, which made us once more aware of the fact that the internet is more or less our business life line. The following day we visited friends with Wi-Fi and drank gallons of coffee in pubs with Wi-Fi.
However, when we came home from a day out the following Sunday night around 23h00, the box had miraculously switched itself on and was working.
Thinking back now we think we know what had happened. France telecom's maintenance programme obviously disconnects users a day before works are taking place, and the program decides that a week is sufficient for the workers to do their job and automatically re-connects after that week.

It would have been nice however if France telecom would have had the decency to issue a warning beforehand....

For those who still can approach the internet, I can strongly recommend the link to our own website!

Jazz in Saône-et-Loire

This title sounds a bit pretentious, and.... that is what it is. Of course there is more to do when it comes to jazz in this area than what I write about, but my knowledge of the jazz scene in France is getting rustier and rustier, hence I stick to the musicians and concerts I know about.

The Crescent Jazz Club - Mâcon

About the Crescent Jazz Club in Mâcon I can be brief. It is a very small venue, though quite cosy, but I would not have liked to sit there even when Coltrane and Dolphy were playing there at full volume. And for those two normally I "would killa ze bull"... For people who would like to keep up to date with modern jazz developments in the Mâconnais the Crescent might be THE spot around here; for me it is just a bit too far away to go there regularly.

However, there is more to do closer to (our) home, when it comes to more conventional jazz. The association Jazz Et Caetera regularly organises concerts in the area, like at Le Potin Gourmand (restaurant) in Cluny, in Chapaize in cooperation with Chapaize Culture, in Messeugne and in Château Dravert in La Guiche. The assocciation has a website, but that was updated last in 2007... However, I regularly receive emails of their coming concerts.  
A newspaper article about this association can be found here. The programming is a bit droll, but the quality of the musicians is reasonable to good, hence why not enjoy an evening listening to a stride piano player or a boogie-woogie pianist?

Jazz Et Caetra - 2013

A bit further away, but, as the Michelin guide words it "Worth the detour" is the series "Jazz in Trivy". We have seen a number of concerts there, of which the best were those with Biréli Lagrène, without any shadow of a doubt. This year the concert series was opened by another Lagrène concert. That my knowledge of the jazz scene is deteriorating may be concluded from the fact that I went there to see and hear Lagrène, while those in the know obviously came for violinist Didier Lockwood. Lockwood managed to be the subject of a question in France's most prestigious TV-quiz, something Lagrène still has to achieve as far as we know. Even though the composition of the group suggested a new Manouche combo, Lockwood, Lagrène and their double bass player had more to offer than just a skilful imitation of the Hot Club de France. The program for this year can be found on the website of Jazz in Trivy. For those who want avant-garde jazz however, this is not exactly the right place to look for it.

Lagrène & Lockwood - Trivy 2013

To cut a long story short: Those who would like to use La Tuilerie de Chazelle as a stepping stone for an evening uncomplicated jazz music are at the right address. One of our guests booked a gîte for a week, just to travel 130 km for one specific concert in Vienne, and she thought it was certainly worth staying here for that concert...

Guitares en Cormatinois 2013

The summer has started, and so has the festival season. Chapaize is on the roll, with its concert series "Chapaize Culture", Cluny will not stay behind, and fortunately, despite the fact that "Les Rendez-Vous de Cormatin" most likely has given the ghost, the "Festival Guitares en Cormatinois" will start very soon.
As each year the festival offers 5 concerts, this time fortunately with the emphasis on "Guitar", and even better : instead of 3 or 4 different venues, all concerts will be given in one place, the lovely romanesque church of Chazelle.
I just chose a selection from the illustrious names I can vouch for:

- Eric Francerie - guitar and Jérémy Vannereau - bandonéon with a Piazzola program

- Emmanuel Rossfelder with a guitar recital

- Nicolas Dautricourt - violin and Thibault Cauvin - guitar with a mixed program of classical and jazz; based on the instruments they are playing the jazz part will most likely consist of pieces not too dissimilar to the repertoire of the Hot Club de France.

The prices are reasonable, the venue has excellent acoustics, in a word, what is stopping you?
Reservations can be made by phone : 03 85 50 19 06 or 06 43 66 56 37, or we can arrange tickets for interested parties.
An email will suffice, payment can be arranged later!

Het programma voor 2013

Something old, something new....

When we entered, like we do every Saturday, Cluny's market, my eye got caught by something I did NOT see. One of the beacons of stability on this market is the market stall from Paula and Suus van der Linden, always in the same place, always with some customers being served; but yesterday we did not spot the familiar blue tarpaulin covering the stall. My first thought was that they had fallen victim to a demonstration against "Mariage pour tous", still a red hot item in France. But I abandoned this thought quickly; Burgundians are not that aggressive, certainly not just before lunch.

That's how it was...

When we had acquired our weekly dose of fresh fruits and had turned another corner of the market, we saw what was wrong: the van der Lindens had traded their trailer cum market stall in for a small truck with an open counter in the side. It looked like one of these driving pizza cars one spots often on street corners. Because we have reduced our wine, snack and hence cheese intake considerably in an attempt to lose some weight, we do not buy cheese from them so often anymore. However, we always stop a minute or so for a little chit-chat, provided there are not too many customers waiting.

And this is the future!

Suus, who is obviously the mathematical genius of the two, had calculated that this vehicle would save them x hours work per week, and hence provided them with a similar amount of extra sleep, in a word, it made their working life a lot easier. We had just finished our exchange of pleasantries when a horde of French customers turned up, of whom I could snap a picture just in time.

For those staying with us in the gîtes or on the campsite, remember: Dutch cheese makes excellent cheese for an apéro, and is very tasty on sandwiches as well. Forget about the slimy Edam or Gouda cheeses available in the supermarkets!

Partir, c'est mourir un peu...

Ever since we live here, whenever we have something to celebrate we hop into the car and drive the few miles that separate us from Bray. Or to be more precise, to La Grange Finot, one of the many hamlets that make up the commune of Bray. The restaurant with the same name where we have devoured many a plate, was run by Serge Curtil, a very friendly man and extraordinary chef, who managed to create an outstanding meal for a very reasonable price.

Formerly : La Grange Finot - Bray

It came as a bit of a shock when we heard that Serge was about to abort mission in Bray, and was going to open another restaurant, this time in Cluny. Everything went rather quickly; a few weeks after we had heard the rumour (at least we hoped it was one) it was confirmed when we walked through Cluny's main street looking for what was going to be a new restaurant. There we bumped into Serge, this time not in cook's costume but in working cloths, who was quite adamant that his new place was going to open in a couple of days. And he certainly had put in some effort, because when we passed by a couple of days later, just out of curiosity, the restaurant was opened and several guests were enjoying their meal.
We should of course very soon try the Serge's new formula; he has stopped, at least according to the announcements outside, serving the classic plat or menu du jour for lunch at a very reasonable price in the bar area, and à la carte in the restaurant proper, lunch time and in the evening.

Rue Mercière - Cluny

We are still hanging on to our main meal in the evening instead of, like the French, having it during lunch. It looks as if the chance to have an excellent meal at an excellent price in the evening has disappeared with the arrival of the new formula.
That his restaurant is now called "La régalade" is one thing, that the sign outside says "Restaurant" and "Bar à vins" however might be a foreboding of something we do not particularly appreciate.
When will we pluck up the courage to try "La régalade"? Time will tell.... ....

For those who prefer to cook for themselves, the two gîtes in La Tuilerie de Chazelle are equipped with their own kitchen!

Who is the first one to call this number?

Websites and churches

Whenever I use a website slightly more often than normal, there is bound to come a day when I think "Would it not be handier if....". And nine out of ten times it does not come any further then a loose thought, although...

Part of the list of churches on "Le site sur l'Art Roman en Bourgogne"

Ever since I have been looking for information about Romanesque churches in Burgundy, I am using "Le site sur l'Art Roman en Bourgogne" more and more often. This is mainly because the site contains a lot of information on the subject. And since I am quite interested in this subject, I spent more and more time on that site. And indeed, one day I thought "Would it not be handier if there was also a map available, where one can see very quickly what a certain area has to offer?". An email to the webmaster told me that he would like to have this feature as well, but that he had not gotten around it yet.
As a workable alternative I changed my database of churches such, that I could sort that database on specific areas as well, instead of only alphabetically or on rating. A list with churches in the vicinity of e.g. Montceau-les-Mines could be generated very quickly.

Zoomed in on the area of Cluny (Google Map satellite view)

One day my better half bumped into an option of Google Maps. Although making an interactive map was a lot of work, it was certainly doable and not very difficult. After a number of days hard work I now am the proud owner of an interactive map of "all" Romanesque churches in Saône-et-Loire. I can now pinpoint easily and quickly all churches in a certain area, find out how they are classified and find pictures of them. The map itself contains a link to a short explanation of how to use the map.
And what about the rest of Burgundy? I gladly leave that chore for someone else!

Nice is just another four letter word....

On one of our trips, this time into the Bresse (seen from our part of the woods on the other side of the Saône), we bumped into a building so ugly that it almost became beautiful in all its ugliness.



On the braderie in Ciel

The Bresse is a rather flat part of Burgundy, with, certainly for someone who grew up in the Netherlands, a rather boring landscape. One Sunday Ciel, a village in the northern part of the Bresse, was offering a braderie on a mediaeval and equestrian theme. Although we should have known better (we have been around a bit!), we went, basically because it was a nice day, direction Bresse. Once we arrived in Ciel we found a run-of-the mill braderie, with a few extremely exiting contests in driving around cones for horses and carriages, where the mediaeval theme was restricted to some villagers prancing around in mediaeval clothes made from old curtains and towels. Fortunately we had been prepared for this sort of thing, so we could fall back on one of my lists of Romanesque churches which we could visit on our way back home.

Mediaeval?

One of these churches, not a very spectacular one though, was to be found in the village of Damerey. We had passed through this village before, and we remembered a house with a facade "decorated" with a cross-eyed deer in concrete, a sea lion, a peacock, a panda, a number of parrots.... We had always passed that house with a speed of approx. 50 km/h, but this time, because we were looking out for a church, we noticed that not only the facade of the house was beautified. No, whilst looking down a side street, we noticed that the facade was rather boring compared to the side of the house. Words do not suffice, hence I invite the reader to get acquainted with this wonder through a Picasa picture album.

Château Bresse-et-Castille - Damerey

At the gate we found a sign saying "Château Bresse-et-Castille", and another sign with the name of the creator of this Spanish theme park, Roger Mercier. After we had snapped some shots in silent admiration, and were about to bugger off to see what the church had to offer, Mr. Mercier approached from his residence. It did not seem appropriate to disappear without a word, so we had a little chat with Mr. Mercier, complimenting him on this 8th wonder of the world. He turned out to be a very amiable chap, who had worked for a contractor all of his life, and who decided at his retirement to leave something for posterity. He had worked on it for over 16 years and was very proud that he created something not just in concrete, no, it was all made in reinforced concrete!

Château Bresse-et-Castille - Damerey

We could not leave without taking a picture of Roger aka Alfonso next to one of his creations. We forgot to tell him, that if he ever needed inspiration for something completely different, that he should pop by Haw Par Villa (Tiger Balm Garden) in Singapore, where something similar has been created on a Chinese theme. Had we not forgotten, who knows Damerey could have boasted, in the near future, an annexe of the ten courts of (Chinese) Hell!

Alfonso next to one of his creations

Looking for more tourist information? Our website has got more to offer than just this!

A hat, a hat, my kingdom for a hat

Did you ever get stuck in one of the narrow through roads of Buxy, held up by a huge tank lorry trying to wind its way through the same streets? We see them quite often, these huge trucks painted in camouflage colours, and quite often there is a whole column of them. They are driven by learner drivers, and we never knew where these guys were actually based. Until recently.



Hats for sale, hats for sale!

I said until recently, because a couple of days ago there appeared no parking signs in the centre of town for a certain morning between 8h00 and 12h00. The signs explained that this had something to do with a military parade. Starting to get to know the French a bit in terms of their attitude towards punctuality, we decided that it would be useless to arrive there before 10 o'clock. When we came there at 10h15 we were still 15 minutes early.
On a street corner we saw a handful of soldiers carrying stacks of white military hats. At the same time we heard from another street the muffled sound of marching soldiers singing, something I only know from American movies about commando trainings. Soon the square filled up with brass, whom started to boss the spectators around and telling them where to stand and where not, and around 10h30 the show started. From one side a group of young soldiers marched toward the square, wearing clothing in camouflage colours and black berets. From the other side approached a similar group, but dressed up in dark blue full dress and white hats, each one of them holding a spare white hat under his or her arm.


Groups 1 (left) en 2 (right)

Both groups were lined up next to each other in four files. after a lot of hoo-ha 3 boys from group 1, most likely platoon commanders, were told to come forward and to receive from some of the big shots a brand-new flat white hat, in exchange for their black beret, by the way.
After this, the files of group 2 stepped in between the files of group 1 and started to distribute their spare white hats.
The hats having been dished out some rather muddled drill took place involving some high placed brass and a regiment's banner, and finally both groups of youngsters were marched off to the church. By this time we also had enough of the whole show, and we in our turn marched ourselves off to where our car was parked.
In the mean time we have found out that these guys are quartered in the barracks of Carnot in Chalon, and that they are part of the Base Pétrolière Interarmées. When they are about to finish their training, they still have to do some manoeuvres around Saint-Gengoux. Once the manoeuvres are over, the ceremony in Saint-Gengoux incorporates them as real soldiers in their regiment and they are then allowed to wear full dress, including their brand new white hats.
Anyway, whenever we get stuck again in Buxy, I know now who are to blame for it...



Oi, it's not my size!


For our own website click here.

One thing leads to another

Notre-Dame - Chazelle

What is the link between a baptismal font, moved from an ancient romanesque chapel, attached to a farm along the Voie Verte, and a number of gypsum kilns roughly 30 km to the east of the chapel?
The link may be a bit farfetched, bet there certainly is one! After someone of the “Association des amis du vieux Berzé (AVB)" had approached us (see the previous blog), it seemed logical to have a good snoop around their website. Under “Partenaires” I found a link towards a site specialised in cataloguing romanesque churches in Burgundy, “Le site sur l'Art Roman en Bourgogne". And since I am also slightly interested in this subject, I decided to have a look at this site, and especially at the “Saône-et-Loire” page.

Chapelle "romane" - Collonges

After having pressed “Page down” twice I had a number of pictures of romanesque churches with place names in alphabetical order on my screen, on which Chazelle seemed to be missing. When one clicked on a picture, a page opened with a description of the church, a number of pictures, and sometimes with even more additional information, all in French. After having clicked on the “Contact” page I found out that the site was created by a Dutchman, Eduard van Boxtel, and of course an e-mail was quickly concocted telling him that there was no description of Chazelle on his site. Well, was I wrong!
I received a very friendly answer, with a link to the place where Chazelle was mentioned, even though there were not yet pictures available. My built-in impatience was partially to blame for this. Had I pressed the “Page down” button a few times more, I would have ended up in a number of lists of towns and villages, each hosting one or more romanesque churches, ordered by importance ranging from six stars to one star. And indeed, Chazelle was mentioned there as well. After some correspondence with the webmaster I decided to help him with his collection of photos by giving him a few pictures of the churches he had nothing of.

Doopvont - Collonges

Whilst browsing through my pictures of romanesque churches I stumbled upon Collonges, a village signposted as “Chapelle romane” along the road from Cluny to Cormatin. This chapel hosts a romanesque baptismal font, which belonged originally to another chapel in Cotte, and was transferred to Colonges where it is used as a holy water font. And although the chapel in Collonges is not romanesque at all, Eduard found the story interesting, even more when I presented him with a photograph of this holy grail.
Since then we are regularly in touch about photographs and details, and I could even bring an unsightly small romanesque chapel in Cormatin to his attention, of which he had even never heard.
An so one thing leads to another. For those interested in romanesque architecture Le site sur l'Art Roman en Bourgogne offers a wealth of information on the subject. And those with a bit more patience than I can muster can find much more on this site: information about romanesque architecture in general, a glossary of French terms, architecture of Rome, Byzantine art, and possibly more, if one has the patience to look for it....

Chapelle Saint-Roch - Cormatin

For our own website click here.

A journey to the centre of the earth

As a follow-up to a previous blog we decided to phone up M. Piffaut of the “Association des amis du vieux Berzé (AVB)” to make an appointment to see the gypsum kilns in Berzé-la-Ville.
M. Piffaut was very enthusiastic about the whole idea, and we made an appointment to meet him on a Wednesday at 10 o’clock at the Chapelle des Moines in Berzé-la-Ville. When we arrived, there was a heavy delegation awaiting us. The mayor of Berzé was there (by accident, we learnt later), M. Piffaut and two more active members of the AVB. M. Piffaut and his friends gave us a very interesting tour along the two different types of kilns which had been in use there.
A very concise run-down on what we were told: gypsum, a soft sedimentary rock was mined in the nearby gypsum mine. Depending on the type of oven used, the gypsum was deposited in an oven and heated (with wood) to ca. 180 degrees, whilst in a slightly more modern type of oven the gypsum was deposited in layers, with in between layers of coal. The bottom fire burnt the above layer of gypsum, and when ready the bottom layer of gypsum was taken out.

When the gypsum was ready it was taken out of the kiln, the whole concoction above fell down one layer, the coal were lit and the kiln was refilled from the top. That way a continuous process was created. The gypsum was then transported to a nearby mill, where the gypsum was milled into powder with horse power. The final product was bagged and sold off as building material.
After the kilns we were invited to see one of the mine shafts which was still intact. The shafts are quite dangerous, and are normally closed to the public. The mine shafts had been used (even before the closure of the mines around 1900, but also after) for growing mushrooms. However the “mushroom” farms were closed down after a fatal accident due to one of the shafts caving in. These mineshafts were not very deep, and only slightly sloping, but still, it was a special experience to move around under the surface of the earth.
M. Piffaut and friends did everything within their power to explain as good as possible what had been the purpose of the various features of the site.

They obviously had done a lot of research, but also a lot of heavy manual labour. The kilns were all filled up with rubble and soil, partially underground, and a number of the members of the commune has spent every Friday during the summer since ca. 1995 to clear the site of rubble and to dig out and empty the kilns, all done with spades and wheelbarrows. One oven was still filled with coal and gypsum, as if a local volcano had disturbed the workflow.
We look back to a very pleasant morning with our new found friends. M. Piffaut warned us, when we said goodbye to them, that we could expect a delegation of about five AVB members for a counter visit who are interested in the workings of a brick factory.

Needless to say, that they are more than welcome!






For our own website click here.

Paul Temple and the Dr. Kumar Case (10, epilogue)

Although this series originally was meant to contain 8 episodes, in the end it turned out to have two more.
Click here for the complete series, , to be read in reverse.
In the previous episode I wrote that we never heard from Dr. Nelson again. That is certainly true, but still the scam had not yet come to an end.
Some days after the last mail from Dr. Nelson we received another one, from a certain Engineer Wilson, coincidentally (?) having the same address as Nelson. We asked him for € 2460 and received a cheque for £ 7000.

This is how it all started

This was also a stolen cheque, like the others we received, and also in this case we managed to contact the owner. Neither the police nor the bank was interested.
After a while Wilson phoned us, asking why we had not forwarded the money to his logistics agent. We told him that we had never received any details, and promptly they arrived.
We waited a few days, and in the meantime we searched the internet for Mr. Frederick A., the logistics agent. Mr. A had a Facebook account, and we also found him in the telephone directory. The guy we found happened to be a Nigerian student. Coincidence? We cannot prove it, but to us it seems that this "agent" most likely was using his own name and his own bank account!
After some more days we told Wilson that there had been a problem with the cheque; our bank would not give us any details, could he please send a new one?

The first stolen cheque (from Dr. Kumar)

Again we thought this was the end of the story, and again we were wrong. We received another cheque, from the same stolen chequebook, this time for £ 6500.
After a while we told him that his second cheque also had bounced; that both cheques were stolen, and that we would cancel his reservation. We would only consider a booking if he forwarded the money required to book, without any extras for his agent. Wilson could not get enough. He wrote the following mail:

"Hello, Good day. Sorry I have not been able to get back to you as we have been busy discussing with our sponsor. It is obvious as the cheque payment method could be accepted as you stated in your mail. Please we are very interested in your hotel and we are asking if you have credit card or equity line so that the money will be deposited into your account. Thanks as we await your early response. Best regard, Robert."

Would this be sufficient for a birthday party? (Mr. Churchhill)

By this time we started to get a bit fed up with good old Robert, and we answered him thus:

"Dear Mr Wilson Thank you for your continued interest in our accommodation. I would like to briefly recall where we are. Firstly, your sponsor sent me not one, but two stolen cheques, so I find it difficult to believe that the credit card currently on offer, is not stolen as well. Secondly, I am not sure if you are aware, but your logistics agent in Enfield, London (Mr A.) is known as a Nigerian scammer and is currently under investigation by the Metropolitan Police fraud squad. If you want to maintain any form of credibility, you need to find new business partners. In summary, your cancelled reservation remains just that - cancelled. Yours, Sue"

The first cheque from Engineer Wilson

And finally it stopped. While I am writing this, it has been almost three months since the last email. Since then we neither received scam emails asking for accommodation, nor for organising birthday parties. Even emails asking for help with smuggling big sums of money out of obscure countries has ceased.

Summarising: the first mail that triggered off this scam chase came in on 7 May 2012.
We "received" a total of £ 44740 (approx. € 55750). I did not take into account Wilson's last cheque.
Total sum required for birthday and gîte bookings: € 37470
Total loss for us : € 18280, had we been so stupid to fall for all 3 scams.

the second cheque from Wilson : all is well that ends well?

We sent the last mail out on 8 September 2012. We strongly believe now, after all we know, that this scam is NOT run by a number of independent small-scale scammers, who haphazardly get hold of emails addresses and stolen cheques. The whole thing smells of quite a big organisation, centrally managed using a number of scammers, and structurally capable of stealing chequebooks and possibly even credit cards. It is also evident that neither the banks nor the police are the slightest bit interested in stopping these people.
As far as I am concerned, I am quite pleased that this whole thing ground to a halt. Having said that, it is a pity that my collection of stolen cheques stops at a paltry four pieces....

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Paul Temple and the Dr. Kumar Case (9)

Mid June our involvement with the scamming Dr. Kumar came to an abrupt end (click here for the complete series, to be read in reverse). We had our fun with him, and we were pretty sure there would be no more emails from Kumar being sent inquiring after another two weeks in September. However, a few days later we received another email, again from a doctor. This time it came from a certain Dr. Nelson Mark, a "medicine man" from Aberdeen. The email read:
"Dear Sir/Madam Compliments of the Season,
I am delighted to inquire for accommodation in your facility,I want to book accommodation for a Vacation.
Arrival date: 1st SEPT 2012
Departure date: 10th SEPT 2012
Total number of rooms needed 2 double rooms
Total number of nights 10
Total number of guests 4 (All ADULTS) Two couples.
We need: 2 double rooms or 2 bedrooms apartment for 10 nights.
Kindly provide us with the following details:
1. Your rates per night include all taxes in Euro or GBP
2. Its subtotal for the 10 nights in Euro or GBP
3. Our abroad sponsor will issue a certified cheque to you for our total payment.please let me know if you accept cheque payment.
We are group of medical experts from England coming for vacations.
Date is not available please get back to me with another date.
Have a nice day.
My Regards,
Dr.Nelson Mark
Orwell House, Souterhead Rd.Altens,
Aberdeen,AB12 3LF,United Kingdom.
Tel:+447448066447."

Not only were the dates Dr. Mark wanted to spend here with three of his colleagues identical to those our Dr. Kumar had in mind, also the party size and the number of rooms were identical. Based on the similarity in use of written English I could only assume that both Doctors had attended the same primary school. The education in basic arithmetic must have been of the same quality as the English language course; I seem to remember from my primary school years that arriving on September 1st and leaving on September 10th results in a stay of 9 in stead of 10 nights...
Anyway, we had had our fun smoking out Dr. Kumar, and decided to bin Dr. Mark, or at least his email.
Until.... after two weeks e new mail arrived, again from Dr. Mark, identical to the previous one, and with the same loud title in capitals "BOOKING NEEDED".
Doing nothing at all for a while had bored us by then, reason why we decided to try to go for Dr. Mark's throat.
We sent him our normal standard email, telling him that he had to pay approx. € 200 up front, and yes, that we accepted cheques. Remarkably enough, we heard nothing from Dr. Mark; even more remarkable was that the steady stream of these sort of scam mails (we received sometimes 3 a day!) suddenly completely dried up.
Based on this I have developed a theory, called the "van Halderen conspiracy theory no. 12".
Mr. X, the brain, or at least one of the brains of the organisation, hands out big amounts of email addresses to a number of his accomplices. They are supposed to send those out, using any name or profession they fancy. The medical profession is obviously quite popular with this gang.

The moment a victim is hooked, Mr. X takes over. He does the actual negotiations, and he is the one with an overview of what has been going on. He possibly has built up a list of "unsafe" addresses, and we are, no doubt, on that list. I assume that our email address has been removed from the database all together.
For those who are fed up with receiving these sort of emails, I would strongly advise to follow the "van Halderen approach". I cannot, however, guarantee the same results as the ones we've got....

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Paul Temple and the Dr. Kumar Case (8)

This is the very last eruption in this octology.

That scammers ar just as persistant as some bloggers, may be deduced from the following email I received yesterday (before that 2 more came in, but not so blatantly scam as this one).
"Hello
I will like to contract your services with respect to my wife's birthday(Mrs Jasmine ) scheduled to hold on the 20th of August , 2012.I will like you to take charge of the arrangements.
Mrs Jasmine (my wife) happens to be from your country and this birthday celebrations is meant to be a surprise package that is to say she is not aware of this arrangement.

Please get back to me with any of the services which you can provide as regards the birthday arrangement for my wife.
- Vehicles /hotel transfers for the guests - ( coaches transportation)
- location for the Birthday party
- lodging for the guests for an estimate of twenty people(arriving on
the 19 of August
- and departing on the 23rd(morning) of August )2012

- Birthday cakes and Flower decorations
- Sight seeing tours for the guest/ boat tours - (21st August )
- DJ Sound& flower decorations The Birthday Budget is at the range of 24,000 GBP for now and it remains very flexible pending our final conclusion. Please do let me
have the details of all i should know as regards the arrangement. Estimates and calculations should be based on the quoted budget.
Do get back to me asap via e-mail.
Regards.
Mr.avrant churchhill"

It was addressed to "Undisclosed recipient", which made me think they had not chosen us for what we really had to offer (in any case, we do NOT do party animations!).

I am half thinking of starting a new hobby: collecting stolen or falsified cheques. But before I really do embark on this track I would like to have a little chat with my lawyer first...

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